I pull the shoulder harness over my head and strap myself into the seat. I am now moving forward, meandering my way to the “climb”…click, click, click, click…I begin inching my way to the top. I am thinking, “Oh my God, it’s going to happen soon.” Butterflies are fluttering all over my stomach at this point…there is no stopping this ride. I am committed. She is coming very soon!
This is where I am today; I am on one of life’s great roller coaster rides. I am 37 weeks pregnant and one of the midwives at my practice told me a few days ago “she is engaged and your cervix is effacing…she could come anytime”.
YIKES!!! Last few clicks…I am approaching the top of the climb and I know the big scary, adrenaline-filled drop is going to happen anytime now!
Am I ready for this? My husband and I have been preparing for months for this moment….countless hours of research and bits of advice, breastfeeding class, infant CPR, childbirth education, nursery construction, massive amounts of laundry, knitting, packing the bag for the hospital, installing the car seat, NESTING…I’m scratching my head thinking, have I missed anything? Probably. It seems that there are a million things one can do to prepare for the arrival of their newborn child; and in the end, is anyone really prepared for this journey?
The Ride…The Delivery
I am at the top of the climb now and RUUUUUSSSSH, I am there…the ride begins. The anticipation of the delivery is killing me! I am excited, scared, impatient while I wait for the time to come. I am hoping for a more natural delivery – one without or minimal interventions. (induction, drugs, c-section, etc). Some think I am nuts, I think why interrupt a process my body is designed to do? I am keeping an open mind…ultimately the most important thing is that the baby and I are healthy in the end. I know there will be pain and perhaps times where I want to give up. With the help of my amazing husband and pulling strength from within, I can do anything! Much like the races I’ve run…there are times I may feel like I can go no further, but at that moment I dig deep inside and find the strength. I know I can do this..bring it on!
The End…the Beginning…The New Parents
Hair standing on end, I arrive at the platform, take off the harness and stand up and all I am thinking…that ride was amazing! All the fear and anxiety has passed and I am filled with pure joy and excitement, but I know…the ride continues as the journey of parenthood will last a lifetime.
In the last few weeks during our furious race to prepare for her arrival, I have questioned whether we are ready. Do we have everything we need? Do we have enough diapers, onesies, swaddling blankets, and so on? In reality, I would bet that no one is ever truly ready for this life-changing journey but I know what we lack in experience, our instincts will take over. I believe as long we love her, protect her, keep her fed and warm…she’ll be A-ok! Sure the countless cute layettes, fuzzy blankets and cute little stuffed animals are great…but our undying love, attention and patience will be the key.
I can’t wait to meet her…to see her beautiful little face and kiss her tiny little toes and fingers. I am loving this crazy ride!